The eight-year term of President Bill Clinton was a period of relative peace and prosperity. Unfortunately, his term of office is likely to be remembered by history for events of a far different nature.
In 2005, the Guangzhou Haokian Bio-science company of China introduced a line of condoms named for our 43rd president (with the Chinese spelling of Kelitun). A 12-pack of Clintons sold for $5.00. Too much? How about $3.00 for a dozen of the company’s Laiwensiji (for Monica Lewinsky) brand condoms?
Over the years, condoms have been known by a host of different names. Some of them are inventively descriptive, while others sound strangely cryptic to the ears of modern readers. The following is just a sample, and is assumed by this writer to be far from complete:
Bob – (why Bob?)
Sex Shark Warmer
The Tour Guide
Condom users in other lands have their own names:
Denmark – Gummimand, for “Rubberman,”
Hungary – Ovsver, for “Safety Tool,”
Hong King – Pei Dang Vi, for “Bulletproof Vest,”
Portugal – Camisa De Venus, for “Venus Shirt,”
Nigeria – Okpuamu, for “Penis Hat,”
Indonesia – Koteca, for “Penis Gourd,” and
Spain – globo, for “Balloon.”
In England, French Letters will protect you against the French Disease, while a French man might choose to protect himself from La Maladie Anglaise (the English disease), or (the Italian or Neopolitan disease). A Francophobic German might choose to wear a Pariser (Parisian). Many Arabs attribute the scourge of syphilis to the English (the English disease), while the Russians blame the Poles (the Polish disease).
If you have a name to add to the list, we’d love to hear it! Drop it in the comments below